I don’t need to learn anymore. I’m not creative. I’m not perfect. I hate change.
Have you ever had thoughts like this? Have you ever felt that life is not as glamorous as you thought it would be when you were a kid? As we get older and experience some life, we learn some hard truths that put things in perspective. The sooner you learn these lessons, the better for you, as they help you be at peace with the world and with yourself. They help you to enjoy life as it is. Life shouldn’t be conquered or won. It should be lived.
Here are some hard truths about life you need to hear.
On purpose
- You create your own circumstances – 99.9% of people are responsible for their own circumstances. You have the life you chose. Your current situation is a reflection of your past choices. If you want a better future, stop whining about your past and look at your present actions. They will tell you what the future holds for you.
- Learning doesn’t stop at school – you need to accept that the world is moving fast. To keep up, you need to keep learning. Growing, learning, and becoming better at something is also an important part of being satisfied with your life. Make sure you regularly exercise your mind and memory. Keep learning, practicing, and seeking out new experiences.
- Don’t try to find your purpose through others – if you try to live your life through others, you will be disappointed. If you connect your purpose to a relationship with another person, you will become clingy, jealous, and desperate. You will lose sight of who you are, and you will be broken when they walk away. Build your relationships on partnership, and understand that you can’t control others.
- Learn to silence your biggest critic – how do you recognize who your biggest critic is? Easy. It is you! Every time you argue for your limitations like, “I can’t do this,” “It’s me, not much I can do about it,” “I’m not creative,” “I’m not good at sports,” you are disempowering yourself. You are making self-defeating statements that live in your mind and prevent you from achieving your life dreams. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. Similar to criticizing others, it does nothing to create a better world. Criticism by itself doesn’t lead to anything positive, whether you target it at yourself or others. What’s worse, with every criticism you voice, you increase the angst, hate, and anger and make the world a little worse place to live in.
- You can’t escape yourself – wherever you go, there is always one person with you. It is you. You can change everything in your life, but the chances are that nothing changes. It will still be you in charge. You will be with your thoughts, your habits, your attitudes, and beliefs. Moving to another country, another job, another partner won’t change the basics of who you are. Before you start changing your whole life, consider first changing yourself. You may realize that the town you live in is fine, your job is not that bad, and the partner loves you. If you are unhappy, then changing your life circumstances may not help much. You may escape one terrible job or relationship, only to end up in another that is even worse. You can’t escape yourself and your attitudes. But you can change them if you want to.
On survival
- You are weak and getting weaker – you lost the ability to survive on your own. You are so spoiled and so reliant on technology that you get angry when the bus is late, you rant about being stuck in a traffic jam, you use rain as an excuse why not to go outside, you worry about trying something new as you may look ridiculous, you never get great at anything as that would require focused effort for many months and years.
- Investing in your health and education is not selfish – many people tend to sacrifice their lives for the sake of others. They keep ignoring their own needs, mental and physical health, using the excuse that there is no time because they need to care about others. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to help others.
- No one is perfect, and that is fine – stop trying to hold yourself to ridiculously high standards. If you are one of those people who keep criticizing themselves all the time, you are just making your life miserable. Most of the people around you don’t care whether you are perfect. Everyone has some faults and weaknesses, so get comfortable with yours. You will have a happier life.
- Change is inevitable – change is hard. Change can be painful. But change is inevitable and can have a positive impact on your life. Everything in the universe keeps changing. There is no point in denying change or fighting it. Embracing change is a way to go towards a more fulfilling life. Is it scary and risky? It can be. But it is less risky than not accepting the changes in our lives and ourselves.
That’s it. What other hard truths about life related to purpose and survival have you learned? What have you discovered as you got older that surprised you and you wish you knew when you were younger? Comment below.
Photo: Generated with Dall-E
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