I can’t rely on my intuition. I can’t make the right decision. I worry about what others will think about me.

Have you ever had thoughts like this? Have you ever felt that life is not as glamorous as you thought it would be when you were a kid? As we get older and experience some life, we learn some hard truths that put things in perspective. The sooner you learn these lessons, the better for you, as they help you be at peace with the world and with yourself. They help you to enjoy life as it is. Life shouldn’t be conquered or won. It should be lived.

Here are some hard truths about life you need to hear.

On decisions

1. Long-term decisions using short-term criteria don’t work – most of us would use fame, money, or positions as a measure of success in the corporate world. Unfortunately, these are all short-term criteria. You can get fired tomorrow. Don’t base your long-term career and life decisions on these short-term criteria. Focus on learning, wisdom, and relationships as a measure of how successful you are and use it to make your long-term decisions.
2. First impressions are for real – get used to it and get the most out of it. You have only one chance on first impressions, so make it count. Act with integrity and be the person you want to be every moment of your life. That way others’ first impressions of you will always reflect your own self-image.
3. Ignore the majority of advice others give you – opinions are cheap. Everyone can give you a piece of wisdom. It doesn’t mean you should act on it. Always look at who is giving the advice. If you wouldn’t trade places with them, then you probably shouldn’t follow their advice. Also keep in mind that we are all different and what works for others may not work for you.
4. Intuition is no magic – it is only a recognition of patterns. This means that intuition only works when you have a big enough set of patterns in your memory to recognize, and if the environment is stable enough that past patterns are still applicable. Don’t rely on your gut feeling when you are a novice in ever changing environment. Use data instead.
5. Easy choices often lead to a hard life – and the hard choices that ultimately lead to an easier life. What may seem like a smart short-term decision can have long-term negative consequences and vice versa. Consider second-order thinking to improve decision-making by considering the long-term consequences of your actions. By looking beyond the immediate effects and thinking through the ripple effects of the decision, you can avoid unintended consequences, mitigate risks, and achieve lasting success.

On failure

6. No one cares about your failures – everyone else fails too, and even if you notice, you forget quickly. People have better things to do than to remember the failures of others. So don’t be scared of failure just because other people may laugh at you.
7. People don’t remember what you did, but they remember how that made them feel – everyone counts. Every human being has their place on this Earth. Treat everyone with respect and make them feel that they matter. You will have a positive impact on the lives of everyone you meet.
8. Everyone is afraid – no one can predict the future. Even though each of us lives his or her life, they are all remarkably similar. We all deal with the same challenges. Don’t think you are anything special. Rather, say to yourself, if millions or billions of others could do it, so can you.
9. Learn from your successes – you need to learn from your mistakes. But more importantly, you need to get into a habit of learning from your successes. What do you learn from your mistakes? What not to do. It is helpful but not as useful as knowing what to do. If something worked, figure out why it worked, and do it again.
10. Your success depends on others – The higher you are in the hierarchy, the more successful you are, the more you rely on other people. Their success is your success. Their failure is your failure.

That’s it. What other hard truths about life related to decisions and failure have you learned? What have you discovered as you got older that surprised you and you wish you knew when you were younger? Comment below.

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