I’m just saying it as it is. I can’t do anything about it. I want him to change.

Have you ever had thoughts like this? Have you ever felt that life is not all that glamorous as you thought it would be when you were a kid? As we get older and experience some life, we learn some hard truths that put things in perspective. The sooner you learn these lessons, the better for you, as they help you be at peace with the world and with yourself. They help you to enjoy life as it is. Life shouldn’t be conquered or won. It should be lived.

Here are some hard truths about life you need to hear.

On words and thoughts

1. Words and stories have power – stop saying things just for the sake of talking. People often hurt others without even realizing it. This is especially true when being around children who don’t have the ability to filter out your sarcasm, jokes, and inappropriate anger. Talk only when you have something to say, and when what you say will help someone.
2. You are your own worst enemy – you may not realize it, but the stories you tell to yourself have a significant impact on your life. You are creating your reality by the stories you choose to tell and believe. Stop seeing yourself as a victim. Stop blaming the world for your misfortunes. Stop lying to yourself. Start telling more positive and empowering stories and change your life for the better.
3. Haters are going to hate – haters put you down because your current success already threatens them. Hate leads to destruction. It destroys the hater. If someone hates you, let it go. Don’t try to hate back. By hating back, you are helping the other person destroy you. You focus on the negatives and will eventually dislike your life and yourself.
4. Don’t Argue With Fools – there will always be various fools, self-proclaimed experts, know-it-alls, detractors, doubters, and haters who will point at your work and bash it or give you unsolicited advice. They may tease you to go argue or fight with them. Don’t. They are just a distraction. There is nothing you can gain by arguing with a fool. Don’t try to change them. Don’t try to argue with them. Don’t become them. The best you can do is ignore them and focus on your work.
5. Everyone is entitled to an opinion – there are people out there who like you, and there are people who dislike you. Some will encourage you, and others will criticize every step you take. You can never please everyone, and if you want to keep your sanity, you shouldn’t even try. This is especially important when you want to create something. There will be those who will try to tear it down with hate. Ignore them. It is often envy and disillusion with their own lives that drives them to work hard to make the lives of others miserable. Don’t let them get to you.
6. When someone disappoints you, it is your fault – it is not because of their actions. It is because their actions didn’t correspond with your expectations. You can’t control the actions of others, but you can control your own expectations and therefore don’t allow others to affect your emotions.
7. Only because something is true doesn’t mean it needs to be said – Not every opinion needs to be voiced. Not every emotion needs to be expressed. Before you speak, consider the impact of your words. It’s important to be true to your thoughts, but it is more important to be true to your principles. You have the right to privacy of thought. Just because we have an opinion doesn’t mean we owe it to anyone to share it. Our beliefs and perspectives are personal and can be kept as such if we choose. The only things we have truly under control are our thoughts and behaviors. The moment we speak up, we lose control over what is going to happen with it. People will share it, copy it, react to it, hate it, misrepresent it.

On perceptions

8. It’s not the event but your perception of it that matters – things happen, and it is us who decide whether they are good or bad. That is why two people can have the same mishap, and while one gets angry and starts complaining about it, the other laughs and shrugs it off. Learn to stop reacting to things. Take a moment to think things through and then respond.
9. You create your own reality – it is not what happens but how you choose to interpret it. Your perceptions affect your biases, prejudices, and the view of the world. Choose to see the world as your playground, and it will become it.
10. Everything is temporary, and you are going to die – acknowledge your own mortality and get comfortable with the fact that you and those around you will die. Acknowledge that you have no idea when and that it can happen at any time. Live your life in such a way that you can feel satisfied with it when you lie on your deathbed even if it is tomorrow. This includes having meaningful relationships with people important to you.
11. Nothing lasts forever – everything is temporary, and it applies to both good times and bad. Don’t let failures define who you are. Remember that nothing in life is easy and that ups and downs are what make life interesting and worth living.
12. You don’t own anything – you may believe that you own many things, but in reality, everything is just borrowed from nature. You can have your car stolen tomorrow. Your house may burn down. Your body may be ravaged by cancer. You don’t own anything, so get comfortable with it and don’t freak out when you lose it.
13. There is only one thing entirely under your control – focus on things that are under your control. If there is nothing you can do about something, then what’s the point of getting all torn up about it? The sooner you realize that the only thing you truly have under your control is how you choose to think about the world around you, the sooner you achieve tranquility.
14. There is a difference between truth and opinion – Truth is an objective reality you can substantiate with facts. Anything else is either an opinion or a lie. Once an opinion is discovered to be a lie by comparing it to objective facts, you are a liar.

That’s it. What other hard truths about life related to words, thoughts, and perceptions have you learned? What have you discovered as you got older that surprised you and you wish you knew when you were younger? Comment below.

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Photo: Generated with Dall-E