I deserve this. It’s not fair. If only I had more money, I would be happy. I wish I could live on a remote island. I envy his talent. I want it now.

Have you ever had thoughts like this? Have you ever felt that life is not as glamorous as you thought it would be when you were a kid? As we get older and experience some life, we learn some hard truths that put things in perspective. The sooner you learn these lessons, the better for you, as they help you be at peace with the world and with yourself. They help you to enjoy life as it is. Life shouldn’t be conquered or won. It should be lived.

Here are some hard truths about life you need to hear.

On money, fame and happiness

1. Money won’t buy happiness – money can be a great enabler, but it will not substitute for having strong relationships, meaningful work, and deep down feeling good about the life you live. Money is an amplifier. If you live an empty life, you will get more of it. If you are a bad person, you will get worse the more money you get. Just look at all the celebrities with messed-up lives and choose to stop chasing money and fame.
2. Fame is overrated – fame, status, and popularity are not things under your control. They depend on how other people see you. If you keep chasing them, you are giving others immense power over you. You will feel bad when others don’t give you those things. You will feel dissatisfied when you don’t get the promotion. You will feel sad when no one likes your social media post. Stop giving others power over you.
3. Chasing happiness is what actually prevents reaching it – happiness is a byproduct of you having a life worth living. It is not a goal on its own. Focus on being a good person and doing good for those around you, and happiness will come.
4. You can’t make everyone happy – and you shouldn’t even try, as that would drive you crazy. Whenever you make a decision, there will always be someone who will be unhappy about it. Whenever you do anything, there will always be someone who will oppose it or attack you because of it. Stop caring about what others think and start living by your own principles and values.
5. Being yourself has no value – we are told that we will be happy when we can be ourselves. At work. At home. At the restaurant. This is the most often used story to excuse inappropriate behavior. You do something that you know irritates others, but instead of trying to change your behavior, you just say, “Sorry, that’s just me.” What do you say when you arrive late? “I know. I am late again. That’s just who I am.” Instead of changing the behavior that you know is not ok, you blame it on your genes. No gene in the DNA says, “be always late.” You can as easily say that your new “you” will always be on time.

On dreams and future

6. Living in the past or dreaming about the future is pointless – live in the moment, as there is no point in reliving your past or daydreaming about your future. Learn to focus on what you are doing right now and start enjoying it. Stop postponing satisfaction with your life for some indeterminate future. Learn to enjoy the small things in life.
7. Living in the past or future is not productive – learn to live in the present. Living in the past leads to depression, and living in the future leads to anxiety and worry. Only living in the present leads to peace of mind and a satisfactory life.
8. Dreams are for losers – stop dreaming and start living. Dreams and ambitions without execution are just a waste of time. Or even worse. You are setting unrealistic expectations for yourself that will just lead to disappointment. If you want something, stop dreaming about it, get up, and take the first step to achieve it.
9. We regret the things we haven’t done – rather the things we have done. It is the chances we didn’t take and the opportunities we missed that haunt us. Whatever we did get normalized, we learned to accept it and live with it even if it had a bad outcome. But the things we could have done and didn’t, our unfulfilled dreams, are painted in better colors than reality probably would have been. And we are more likely to regret not doing them.
10. Desires and pleasures are temporary – learn to deal with the unhealthy desires that keep you from achieving greatness. Learn to delay gratification when it prevents you from getting a deeper satisfaction and fulfillment later on.
11. Success doesn’t last forever – the errors you make in today’s good times create tomorrow’s bad times. When you are experiencing success, approach it with humility and understanding that it may not last. You need to nurture it to stay at the top as long as possible. When you become arrogant, take it for granted, stop making an effort, stop listening to others, you may lose it.

That’s it. What other hard truths about life related to money, fame, happiness, dreams, and future have you learned? What have you discovered as you got older that surprised you, and that you wish you knew when you were younger? Comment below.

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Photo: Generated with Dall-E