Focus on what is truly important. That is the usual advise you get from any expert on time management, productivity, from coaches, and self-help books. But how exactly to do it? And how do you decide what is important?

Deciding what is truly important can be very deceptive. For example, if you have a small child, you may weigh the importance of spending time with them against taking on a second job to earn more money and provide a more luxurious living for the child. You may realize that spending time with the little one today is much more important for both of you than buying her a fancy dress in the future. When you are with the kid, you may again weigh the importance of being fully present for her versus checking your phone every two minutes to avoid missing out on emails and social media. Is regularly checking your mobile phone really the best way to spend your time and the most effective way to pay attention?

So how do you decide what is important? Consider these principles:

1. You Always Come First

Yes, you read it right. And no, this is not selfish. Your health and well-being should be your top priority since you are the only one who truly cares about it and has it under control. You might think that prioritizing yourself is selfish, and you may want to live for others, which is commendable. However, you won’t be able to live for others if you neglect taking care of yourself first.

There’s a good reason why airplane safety instructions advise passengers: “In the event of decompression, an oxygen mask will appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you, place it over your nose and mouth, and breathe normally. If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask first before helping others.”

Remember, you need to help yourself first in order to be able to help others.

The same applies to money. Most people use their paycheck to buy stuff and not necessarily to take care of their long-term needs. Instead of taking a portion of the check and saving or investing to take care of their future needs, they spend it immediately on things they may not even need in the long run.

2. Long-Term Is Always More Important Than Short-Term

Don’t confuse urgency with priority. Many things will feel urgent. The phone call you just received. The colleague is standing at your desk with a document. The email you just got from your boss. The instant message you received on one of the many messaging apps you have installed on your phone. The latest posts of your friends on social media.

Some things don’t sound urgent. Your healthy diet can wait. Your exercise regimen at the gym can be skipped. Your money can be spent now instead of being invested. None of these things has immediate results. They are not urgent. They can wait. You can do them tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Or never. They are not urgent, but they certainly are important.

Only because something can have an immediate short-term benefit doesn’t make it important. It makes it urgent. It often makes it attractive. And it usually comes with associated costs. Opportunity costs. By working on short-term, urgent things, we often pay the cost of not having the time, energy, or money to work on things that would yield huge dividends in the future.

3. Work On One Thing At A Time

The word priority is singular. It means one thing. For centuries, it represented the very first thing. In the twentieth century, it was turned into a plural. Now we have many priorities. We believe that by making more things our priority, we somehow manage to do them. But you can’t cheat nature. You can’t have multiple first things.

Working on multiple tasks in parallel may feel like being productive and like managing many things at once. You tackle all the priorities simultaneously. You are the king or queen of multitasking. In reality, you are not. Everything you work on takes longer, you get less satisfaction from it, and you produce lower-quality output.

By serializing tasks, you focus on one task at a time, complete it quickly and to a high standard, feel good about your achievement, and then move on to the next task. You are making clear progress as opposed to very limited progress when working on ten things in parallel.

4. Eliminate The Second-Tier “Priorities”

Consider all the important aspects of your life, all your dreams, and everything you want to achieve. Rank them in descending order of importance and categorize them into three groups.

The first group consists of non-negotiables, the most significant things for you, the ones you truly care about, that give meaning to your life. Let’s say these are the top five.

The second group includes things you enjoy but are less critical, the second tier of importance. You desire to do them, but you could live without them.

The third group comprises all nice-to-haves or even unimportant things that you could take or leave. Say “no” to the third group. Acknowledge that you won’t be pursuing these.

Now. Here comes the crucial part: say “no” also to the second group. Be mindful not to engage in activities from the second group. This is much more challenging. These are the things you really want to do. That’s the issue. They are significant distractions that will divert you from the priorities in the first group.

These are the endeavors you don’t want to miss out on. Yet, you must, unless you want to be stretched too thin. You are not only eliminating unimportant matters; you are also letting go of some important ones. They are just not the most crucial.

Committing to a specific path also means accepting something that might not be the most optimal choice. You can spend your life waiting for the best option or settle for one that is good enough. Settle and commit. Over time, you will become comfortable with the choice you made, even if better options may be available.

This principle applies to all areas of life, including your career and your romantic relationships. If you keep waiting for the ideal job or partner, you might wait indefinitely. Opting for what is good enough, committing to it, and learning to appreciate it is a wiser approach. It is more likely to lead to happiness and contentment in life than endlessly pondering and waiting for options. Simply make a decision and move forward.

5. You Get More What You Focus On

You attract more of what you focus on. To succeed in your job or relationship, you must give it your attention. Neglecting your spouse will harm the relationship. By giving it more attention, you can strengthen your bond, enhance understanding, and enjoy life together.

The same principle applies to your job. Lack of commitment and attention will lead to poor performance, a lack of purpose, and dissatisfaction.

This issue is particularly significant in today’s digital age. Many large corporations invest time and money in creating products, such as social networks and mobile apps, designed to distract us and steer us away from what truly matters. Instead of focusing on essentials, we get caught up in trivial matters, neglecting what is genuinely important. While this is detrimental to us, it benefits companies profiting from our distraction.

You might have heard this saying before: “If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product.” Your data and attention are commodities sold to advertisers.

Put your attention where it matters to you, not where it matters to the global corporations.

Knowing What’s Important

Priority means “one.” Don’t get seduced into thinking you can effectively work on multiple priorities in parallel.

Don’t let the short-term urgency derail you from working on long-term importance.

Eliminate second-tier priorities.

Focus on what is truly the most important thing for you, and you get more of it in the process.

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